incompleteicarus:

Do you ever ‘wtf white people’ even though you are a white people.

nosdrinker:

is this a threat

nonlinear-nonsubjective:

no i dont want to be a billionaire to live a lavish lifestyle i want to be a billionaire to be financially secure and have enough money to give people things and support charities and fund kickstarters and leave hundred dollar tips

boilerdang-chuckleface:

killervanilla:

drwilfredcokepepper:

ghost-anus:

the best pranks are the super harmless ones

like why would you pull someones pants down in public or like put them in danger or humiliate them when you can just baffle them by leaving tiny plastic camels all over their house or taping bill cosby’s face over every single face in  every picture in their house?

Last year the seniors had a mariachi band follow the principle for 3 hours

Confuse, don’t abuse ;)

MY NEW MOTTO

literallysame:

nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time

samwinchesters-killerpenis:

conor-cymex:

paigefillyr:

riverdanceinhell:

so you know how everyone is always like lol illuminati 666 hail satan the south will rise again etc.

well today i was like hey what exactly was the illuminati anyways? and i

image

oh

Next time on: I didn’t know I was a member of the Illuminati.

Plot twist: Tumblr is literally the Illuminati.

am i in a cult

rnathhomework:

sofasofia:

merrychristo:

merrychristo:

mom… dad… im batman

wait

image

I MADE THIS POST NEARLY A YEAR AGO CAN WE STOP

"When sex becomes a production or performance that is when it loses its value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises, be quiet, and make a mess. Bite, scratch, push, pull, hold, thrust. Remove pressure from the moment. Love the moment. Embrace it. Enjoy your body; enjoy your partners’ body. Produce sweat, be natural, entice your senses, give into pleasure. Bump heads, miss when you kiss, laugh when it happens. Speak words, speak with your body, speak to their soul. Touch their skin, kiss their goose bumps, and play with their hair. Scream, beg, whimper, sigh, let your toes curl, lose yourself. Chase your breath; keep the lights on, watch their eyes when they explode. Forget worrying about extra skin, sizes of parts and things that are meaningless. Save the expectations, take each second as it comes. Smear your make up, mess up your hair, rid your masculinity, and lose your ego. Detonate together, collapse together, and melt into each other."
- (via budddha)

modern-requiem:

the13thdoctorbetterbeginger:

riversnogs:

It is the year after the Battle of Hogwarts. School is starting again. And the thestrals are confused by all of the attention they are getting.

oh

oh no

aHhno why why why

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

Lion: AGGGGGGGHHHHH

YOU HAVE VANQUISHED ME, MIGHTY BEAST

Cub: DAD STOP

Lion: EVERYTHING…GOING…DARK

Cub: DAD OH MY GOD

Lion: REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE…

seejelly:

two years ago i was licking a lollipop and some dude said “watching a girl eat a lollipop is a great way to see how well she gives blowjobs” so i bit the lollipop in half and spit it out 

The Breakfast Club

haveitjoeway:

in the mood to get nude

ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇ